Tax Wizardry T-Shirts

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

Monster under the bed.

'It's tax avoidance crackdown avoidance.'

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

Retrofitting Tax Loopholes Since 1968.

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

"If you have to ask what a loophole is, you probably can't afford it."

'I wanted a few words about your tax return - have I called at an inconvenient time?'