Tax Juggling Wizard T-Shirts

'Please enter the amount owed here...use an extra sheet of paper if required.'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

Monster under the bed.

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'

Retrofitting Tax Loopholes Since 1968.

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

'The all bad news is, the last check that bounced, you sent to the IRS.'

"If you have to ask what a loophole is, you probably can't afford it."

'I wanted a few words about your tax return - have I called at an inconvenient time?'