Tax Return Titan Gifts

"You'll find that accounting isn't always as glamorous as the media portrays."

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

"Oh boy, am I never glad to see you."

Taxes

IRS, 'Internal just isn't enough any more -- we have to go EXternal.'

'We invested everything we had in our marriage.'

"Head of household? Now, who would that be?"

'I see here you're a professional writer. That explains the touch of whimsy in your return.'

'At least I understand the form this year.' - 'Perhaps it's time we improved it again.'

IRS, 'Here's your refund, sir, minus postage and handling.'

'if I didn't know those guys were public servants, I could swear it was the other way around.'

"It takes more to be a super accountant that you were a 'super accountant man' costume."

"May I keep this to hang up on my wall? It's a real doozy."

"Don't forget to say thank you, Malcolm."

Accounting Fantasy Camp

'You've done this before.'

"What do you want, accuracy or plausible deniability?"

"You failed to enclose with your rebate form the correct tail feather from an extinct bird species so we are unable to process your request..."

"Do you think I could claim depreciation on my worn out hip?"

I.R.S. offering 'chicken soup for the taxpayers soul'.

I'm self employed being self employed

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'Certainly I expect to deduct the diet clinic. The lean and hungry look is for business purposes.'

Mr Small had the sinking feeling that his meeting with the tax inspector might not be as smooth as he'd hoped...

'I can't find a darn thing wrong with your return -- could you come back tomorrow?'

'Inland revenue? Your letter doesn't apply to me, I live on the coast!'

'We'd like to ask you a few questions, regarding your activities in the counting house.'

"Have to run, Al - I've got an accounting gig at two."

Paradise Papers

"And now the winner for 'most creative tax loophole'..."

The AdRams Family no.25 - Using PC to work out tax bill

"See, Jimmy? If they give a big tax cut to the wealthy, those guys'll feel good and have us come fix their roof and stuff."