Tax Return Experts Gifts

"May I keep this to hang up on my wall? It's a real doozy."

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

'Why I'm not my cheery self? It's tax-time...'

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

'We can tell him about Santa Claus now, but wait a couple of years before we tell him about the IRS.'

Give up Smoking!

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

tax rises...

Work life balance - "Tonight we're going to read about how Spiderman got the firms quarterly VAT returns in on time."

"It's too late to give a tax cut to the rich, Sire -- They're all poor now."

"Hi, Mr. Tepper. This is the I.R.S. Say, back in April, when you paid your tax, we had no idea of the sort of bills Uncle Sam would be running up, and-well, the long and the short of it is that we have to soak you again."

'It's the way adults keep score.'

Having shut early for Christmas, Mr Small decided to get back to work early to check the answering machine.

The 'Fiscal cliff' to the rich.

"The price of oil is dropping...so...why has your gas gone up?!"

"But if I raise your allowance you'll loose your none tax payer status"

'We invested everything we had in our marriage.'

'I see here you're a professional writer. That explains the touch of whimsy in your return.'

'Fun is fun, Fred, but that's downright vicious!'

'That was the fourth wedding cancellation, today...'

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

'When did you put your robots on the payroll?'

"Welcome aboard. We have no government, so there are no taxes."

"I'll be with you in a minute, sir - Just have a seat and don't make any funny moves."

'Tax cut! We're getting a tax cut!!'

"We have a lot in common - neither of us pays income tax."

IRS, 'Here's your refund, sir, minus postage and handling.'

'I'll never understand parents. First they tell you to be independent, then they run right down to the IRS and declare you a dependent.'

IRS, 'I can grant you an extension, but it's going to COST you.'