Tax Joke Appreciator Pillows

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Yes, they are all dependants."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

Tax relief

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."