Tax Joke Appreciator Pillows

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'