Tax Calculations Gifts

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

"Where the hell's my pocket calculator?"

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'Are you ready for your FISCAL examination?'

IRS Audits. That's your fourth "honest" mistake in a row!

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

I'm afraid neatness doesn't count, Mrs Wilson

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.