Calculations Gifts

'According to this theory, it's strongly improbable that anything should ever happen anytime, anywhere.'

"According to my calculations, you should float now...I think..."

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

'What's sixteen plus nine?' - 'A hundred and sixty nine.'

Your reciept, sir.

'I've calculated how many minutes you've been alive and the approximate ETA of your demise.'

'After two days of intensive calculations I have figures out why your company doesn't make any profit: your expenses are too high. That'll be 4, 785,000 euros, please.'

"Where the hell's my pocket calculator?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Math Dreams

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Have you been working out?"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

I love maths.

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

"I see a flaw in your financial calculation."

"Your calculations are right- it's our teabreak!"

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

I think I have a 45-45 chance of passing my math class.'

'You were right. I had a misplaced decimal point.'