Calculation Creative Gifts

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

Math Dreams

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Have you been working out?"

"Where the hell's my pocket calculator?"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

Accountant Manqué

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'Oh, Wow! You write math books? That's wonderful! Where do you get your ideas?'

I love maths.

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

"I see a flaw in your financial calculation."

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

"But it's helping me learn my math!"

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

'You were right. I had a misplaced decimal point.'

"According to my calculations, you should float now...I think..."

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

"Our clients like their accountants to use their 'imagination', but most would still prefer their returns in a spreadsheet."

'After two days of intensive calculations I have figures out why your company doesn't make any profit: your expenses are too high. That'll be 4, 785,000 euros, please.'

“I can’t disagree, your methods are very creative. But… have you any practical accounting experience?”

"It shouldn't happen this way. I'll have to alter the data."