Calculation Creative Gifts

'I march to a different arithmetic.'

Math Dreams

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Where the hell's my pocket calculator?"

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

"Have you been working out?"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

Accountant Manqué

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist, George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'Oh, Wow! You write math books? That's wonderful! Where do you get your ideas?'

I love maths.

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

The Math Institute √π*962.9 KM

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I see a flaw in your financial calculation."

(Pi) 5 8. You can trust him to keep a secret --- He's non-repeating.

Principal with 'budget cuts' in-tray and 'creative solutions' out-tray.

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

'You were right. I had a misplaced decimal point.'

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

"But it's helping me learn my math!"

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

"According to my calculations, you should float now...I think..."

'If our calculations are correct, Dr. Pinkerton, continental drift is speeding up much faster than anyone thought.'

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

"It shouldn't happen this way. I'll have to alter the data."

Watch Salesman

“I can’t disagree, your methods are very creative. But… have you any practical accounting experience?”