Tavern Muse Gifts

"One can only hope this is the raw stuff of art."

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

The bigger they are, the harder they fall, but then the turbulence gets you!

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

Joe's Bar, Get the Full Beer Experience.

'I finally got a grip on reality, and evidently I squeezed too hard.'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Artist studies painting nudes by painting peeled bananas.

'Time? Time's relative.'

'One reason I like hanging out with you is you give me so many good ideas for my sermons.'

Hugh - From Barnaby Rudge

Shanahan's

Joe's Bar - ask your doctor if Joe's bar is right for you!

'Do you believe in the hereafter?', 'I'm not sure -- where are we now?'

'This is a no-frills bar, pal -- You bring your OWN napkins!'

Tavern: Perfect Attendance.

Cézanne, Mont Sainte-Victoire

"There, but for the wrath of my wife, go I."

Tuesday is drunken rant night. The noncommissioned officer is the backbone of this man's army!!!

'I used to do a lot of business over the phone, but as soon as Caller ID came along...'

Man leaving the tavern and realising he is late for dinner

'How many experience points do I have? — I'm not that kind of girl!'

'Old McAllister is a real crank -- he has a conspiracy theory about Tom Bodett.'

Joe's Bar, not for Sissies. Sissies, try Bruce's bar around the corner.

Joe's Bar - Not responsible for drunks left over 24 hours.

Why must you have "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" on the jukebox? A lot of people complained that "Happy Hour" was too happy.

'I came up here as phase two of a 'Buy Low, Sell High' strategy.'

"I have a female landlubber in every port."

'Oh, one of those tough guys with a mustache, eh?'