Taupe Aficionado Gifts

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

"States of tofu"

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

You're the botanicals in my gin

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

Teapot

1930's Lady.

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"I'd say business was brisk."

'How would you like your toast?'

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

"Are you as excited as I am?"

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Somehow it just doesn't seem worth it for a one man business.'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

The Future of Flight?

Roller Coasters

"Well....this is embarrassing..."

'Room for cream?'

"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."

'Rock and roll's so middle class nowadays.'