Toupee Aficionados Gifts

The Lord giveth. The Lord taketh away. Joe giveth back.

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'He's wearing a toupee.'

Free Range Golfers

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"There goes 'ol Slim ridin' off into the sunset."

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

'Man in suit wears tie in shape of a pencil.'

"I don't know art, but I know what I like."

"Mike, I know you're happy with your new toupee, but I really think it's something that you should keep under you hat."

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'Let's get these coats off, get over by the fire and get nice and toasty.'

Nappy Hour 2-3.

'Lately, Master and I tend to go for our walk when the kid next door starts his trumpet practice...'

"Make it one for my baby and one more for the road. And while you're at it I'll have one, too."

"Let Halliburton clean it up."

"Happy?" "Absolutely!"

"I daresay you can't wait to get your hands on my royal teapot collection."

"I guess we never should've put Ned and Betty in there together."

"After all those desert island cartoons, I suppose we had this coming."

'Human resources? This firm is totally lacking in ingenuity. Hire some ingenues at once.'

"Sorry, Tom, but when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

'Please stand by. Our Newscaster has lost his toupee.'

A golfer unknowingly being stalked by the Grime Reaper pulling his special range of scythes.

They seem more positive about things since they got those opposable thumbs.

Tired of being called a 'Bald Eagle,' Alan finally springs for that toupee.

'Thanks -- now I need to withdraw the money again to buy some bread.'

"I didn't know you were pigeon toed Bert"

Men! Pep up that fat, dull head with a swellegant, elegant toupee and tash.

'Toupee or not toupee, THAT is the question.'

Yeah, I never get used to that part.

"Well, okay, but it's got to go if I start hearing any belligerent tweets."

CONGRESS, 'Actually, his hair is the most genuine part of him.'

Riverdance school