Tapas Aficionado Gifts

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"That's it. We’re toast."

La Table

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

'How would you like your toast?'

Last Chance For Reality

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Choice hellhole

'How was the squid?'

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

"You're talking politics? Take it outside or online, but not here!"

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

"I'm surprised at you, Ted. You know we're not allowed to serve alcoholic beverages to dogs."

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"Are you as excited as I am?"

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"