Tapas Aficionado Mugs

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"That's it. We’re toast."

La Table

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

Last Chance For Reality

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

'How would you like your toast?'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

Choice hellhole

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

'How was the squid?'

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

"I'm surprised at you, Ted. You know we're not allowed to serve alcoholic beverages to dogs."

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"You're talking politics? Take it outside or online, but not here!"

"Are you as excited as I am?"

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'Hello Sir. I'm Jeff, and I'll be kissing your butt all evening in the hope of getting a decent tip.'

'My programmer doesn't understand me.'

"Chef, we've run out of terracotta roof tiles!"