Tasteful Snobbery Gifts

"It's a bit highbrow for my taste!"

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

Inappropriate garnish.

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'A sandwich?'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

Gentrification of the Fridge.

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

'I'm picking up unsubtle hints of coffee.'

'I love pretentious pasta!'

"It's not even artisanal."

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"Yes, I'm sure it looked cute and clean, but I would sooner starve to death than eat lunch in a place called Jennifer's Biscuit."

'I think you'll enjoy this, Master James... it's sassy but bovine.'

'How do you expect me to reconcile Breughel's Wedding Banquet on your place-mats with bland mid-western cuisine?'

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

"How do I tell a diner 'no ketchup' in a courteous, yet condescending way?"

Gordon Ramsey's Dog.

'No Stilton?...what sort of a food bank is this?'

"The city life isn't for everyone, so my second house is in the Hamptons."