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'In my opinion it's slightly too thin and light on the palette.' - 'That's your water.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

La Table

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

Flying sauces.

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Two vegans, please."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"....and hold the garlic."

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

Choice hellhole