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'In my opinion it's slightly too thin and light on the palette.' - 'That's your water.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

La Table

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Two vegans, please."

Flying sauces.

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'You're going to be in heaven. Cindy makes the most amazing carrot cakes!'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"I'm unable to process this image."

"....and hold the garlic."