Tasting Enthusiast T-Shirts

The EU rolls back US wine imperialism. Chateau Postmoderne has undertones of angst, fragmentation and self-doubt, mixed with an intriguing gout de desespoir.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

Baker Romance

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

Chocolate Shop

'I was in the catering corps.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Feast

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."