Tardy Traveler Gifts

John was bck from extended leave, but he hadn't quite got in the swing of things yet.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Rock - see you in a million years!

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Introducing Piza Island.

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

Vaccination Passport

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

Fall on a desert island

"Convertible. Must be nice."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

Public footpath on a desert island.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

Lavatory Waterfall

Thumbing a Lift.

"Aye, but this is the Cairngorms laddie. That'll be �1.15p."

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

Hoxton map.

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

Scenic View offers mountain with cherry on top.

Flight Socks.

Mummy Beggar

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"