Tar Pit Tactician Gifts

Jurassic Country Club.

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Kitchen Tetris

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Golf lessons

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

"That was a rumor day."

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

Human males marking territory.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

A fish using pizza as bait to catch an ice hole fisherman.

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

Snooker.

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

Stone Age

'Better get used to player rotation!'

Golf

'Queen you? There's no queen in checkers, and never has been or will be.'

"Buy on the dip, ignore the blip, and sell before the bubble bursts."

'I don't know about you, Sam, but so far my clients aren't going for this cross between tradtional and online trading.'

"You didn't let me win; I let you lose."