Tar Pit Philosopher Gifts

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

Deer against capital punishment about to be shot.

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

How the bones got into the Le Brea Tar Pits

Jurassic Country Club.

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

"I'm sorry your girlfriend left you, Frank...but you must concentrate on the job!"

"Think about it: State-of-the-art tar preservation! And then, when we eventually find a cure for this extinction thing, there YOU are! On the ground floor!"

'I'd give anything to be able to sit down.'

'A wise hermit? ME?? Ribbish!! I sprained my darn ankle by climbing up here and now I can't get down anymore!'

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

'So there's a fly in your beer — why begrudge a fellow creature a little happiness?'

You B*****D

"Finally - a faith-based initiative I can embrace."

'Is capital punishment the same as wealth tax?'

'I just hiked over a mile with that bear while debating the use of nuclear energy. I told you these animals are used to people.'

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

Yet anoher prehistoric mammal is covered up by the La Brea Tarp - never to be seen again.

"What about you? Would you rather leave a stump or be mulched and scattered?"

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

'Still at a plateau, Mrs Johnson?'

"Being deciduous isn't a choice - it's what I am."

"It's okay...It just thinks it has Dutch Elm Disease!"

"Now, nobody fall while I'm gone because I won't hear it."

The Why-Can't-This-Event-Be-In-Miles-Like-Other-Sports-In-This-Country 10K