Tapas Restaurant Owner Gifts

"Will you be charging this?"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

Fast food. Even faster food

'Do you have any catsup?'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Today's special... donuts.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Kitchen Kapers

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Shaken not stirred

"This is our soft opening."

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

Hashimoto's Restaurant - Sushi Like Mother Used to Make!

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."