Cafe Owner Gifts

Cows sign 'Thank you for not tipping."

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Green Coffee

Yes! We're Open!

Coffee Cartoon - Takeaway cup size.

Choice hellhole

Coffee Cartoon - Espresso Machines

'It's just so tragic! For 30 years he runs his shop, and then one day he steps out of his door and WHAM!'

Free Range Wifi.

1/2 price on Day-Old Coffee.

Coffee Cartoon - Fair Trade

'Room for cream?'

The Deli Llama

'Oooh! My cousin got a 5 star review! What's it say?'

National Coffee Day

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

"We don't get a lot of call for double-shot-espresso-vodka-prozac-mocha's."

'Soup of the day? . . . What day?'

'Wi-No Wi-Fi?'

Garcons de Café

Kid, you stand accused of stealing credit card numbers over the internet. Do you realize that when people use those credit cards at my cafe, I'm the one who gets stuck with the bill? Not the credit card companies. They've got the system rigged. I pay. The small retailer. Me! I find the credit card companies guilty of fraud! They're not on trial, sir.

'Todays special is yesterdays left overs.'

'ere - we distinctly asked for Sam and Ella!'

'Not really the kind of cafe culture we were hoping to find.'

"You're not suppose to spend all day eating it."

'That's enough cream. Please stop.'

All Day Deals!

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

Instant Coffee Barista: 'One spoon or two'

Man wearing boxer shorts being tossed out of Café with waiter adding 'No Pants, No Service' to window sign.

Parking Meters at Tables in a Cafe

"Would you like the Tall, Non-Fat Latte with Caramel Drizzle, Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk, Triple,Venti, Soy, No Foam Latte..."

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

Boss took out half the light bulbs, told me to tell patrons it's for "ambience." #cheapskates. What are you doing? Working, boss. I'm tweeting about how lovely the ambience is here at the caf

Two weeks ago: The hunt for Ukraine's deposed president continues. Former President Yanukovych is still on the run, and thousands of angry Ukrainians are vowing to hunt him to the ends of the earth. Did you realize that anger and obsession make people thirsty? This cannot end well.