Talkative Soul Gifts

"...and Jerry here has brought the gift of 'The Gab'."

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."

A Brush With Death

The really really large intestine.

'That's all I can say - I've already told you twice as much as I know!'

Long delays likely.

'I was told to inform all of our customers that there is a two dollar charge for chit chat with tellers.'

'Unfortunately he talked the walk instead of walking the walk, so I left him.'

'I KNOW it's an artificial plant! I am only talking to it to PRACTICE before I start with the real ones...'

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

"Oh, you know the type: hyper-articulate, but 100% content-free!"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Woman on the phone.

Dialogue

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Attention Span Man

Pie chart of pub conversations

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

'Hey! I'll do the talking! Okay?'

"Pretty Maiden where art thou?"

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

Yakademic: An academic who has been describing their research since they were asked about it over 20 minutes ago.

"They're both in telemarketing."

'Sure, I can talk, but I still feel culturally illiterate.'

'I can't keep a secret, either!'

"Bark like nobody's listening."

'Well this shouldn't last long.'

"You make me want to be a bigger man."

'It was a personality clash form the very beginning. My perfume versus his after shave!'

"Oh, I beg your pardon – I'm just looking for my husband."

Northern chat up lines: 'You don't sweat much for a fat lass'

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

"With Gloria, it's in one ear and out the mouth."

Thank You For Not Interrupting My Endless Stream of Chatter.