Talent Scout Gifts

Jonny B Goode fails his first audition "You know, you play that guitar just like you're ringing a bell! Trouble is we need someone who plays like they're playing a guitar!"

'There's a scout outside to see you.' - 'Great.'

Biblical Idol: "Oh God, not another golden calf!"

"Let me do the talking."

"You look good, Douglas, but I'm afraid we're not looking for an 'It Boy' right now."

Dart player with long darts. 'Look, rules are meant to be broken, aren't they?'

No Talent Agency

Athletic Cup Proving Ground

'Hey Harry, let me run this past you: Rock Revisionism...'

'I am going to Hollywood to get a job as a Comanche scout.'

'He's got size and a soft shooting touch. But I don't know... There's something wrong with his mobility.'

Sign Him.

'They draft them into the league younger and younger every year. Look! He's still got his tail!'

'They say all the best comics come from Liverpool don't they - wait until you hear Spot's Scouse accent!'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Have you heard? Lucy's been head-hunted by another beehive..."

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

"Hi! Excuse me, but I'm a TV talent scout for 'Embarrassing Bodies'..."

"My client wants a fifty-per-cent salary boost, a bonus guarantee, and a snappy choreographed victory dance he can do after he makes a touchdown."

Theatrical Agent - "And does she say anything else apart from Moo?"

How Hollywood discovered the 12th actor to play Tarzan.

"Mark my words, son, you're going to be massive"

'What? How can you say this game is bor-ring?!'

Head-hunter staring at a lady.

' I thought I had discovered the next Bob Dylan playing in some small dive in New Jersey. Then I realized it was the old Bob Dylan.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

Simon Cowell

"If he has any talent whatsoever, I'll be rich!"

"That's my novel."

"Just the, two recruiters from the college's awning leap team drove by."

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

"Quick! Get me an agent."

"You get out of line, Mitchell, and you'll never work in this town again. By 'this town' I mean, of course, Hollywood."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?