Takeout Connoisseur Gifts

"Save some for Mommy, Princess."

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

ESP Pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"Our restaurant delivers, but not necessarily what you order."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Man sitting and reading 'Joy of Take Out' book surrounded by take out boxes.

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

"I was hoping we could order pizza tonight."

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"Quick swig first?"

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'

'Ok. I'm cooking dinner. What sounds good?'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

'My hero!'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

Cosy night in

"I think we overordered."

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"Don't make me send over the bad waitress."