Taekwondo Titan Pillows

Martial Arts

Green Belt

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

'Remember me?'

'You may now kick the bride.'

Martial Arts

Mod Kwan Doh

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Old Karate Master

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

Table tennis.

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

Football.

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

"What did I tell you about practicing on the cat?"

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Martial Arts

Stop the big guy!

It's academic

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

"I'm sorry but the correct answer is not 'I'm sorry if you feel offended.'"

"He'll never be good enough to snatch this pebble from my hand."

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

"After endless delays, boarding confusion and lost luggage, it appears he's finally arriving at his conclusion."

The Academic Brain, showing parts: teach, write, do research, and (the largest part) serve on committees.

Life hasn't been the same since Mum took up taekwondo!

'If you look closely at the CAT scan, you can see a tiny area of normal brain activity. Otherwise, he's got nothing but a headful of useless sports statistics.'

'Things even God could not know - for $400, Alex.'

Kung Foo Cat

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

'I think I'm getting the hang of it now!'