Tadpole Trainer Gifts

Son, it's time you grew some legs and moved out.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Any questions?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Hanging off every word...

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Quality Control

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"Just go with the workflow."

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

Targets.

'First of all, relax.'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'The rivalry at the pony club is getting out of hand!'

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

'I hope that training aid doesn't give him the idea that bigger laptops could mean more output.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."