Trout Trainer Gifts

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Any questions?"

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Litter Tray Training

'He's not supposed to go out.'

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'Ed missed a nice trout in that hole last week. He takes everything personally.'

Hanging off every word...

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

Cat Show

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Quality Control

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."