Tactical Gear Collector T-Shirts

'The time? All tooled up and forgot my watch, would you believe!'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Invest in technology."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Sport Utility Boot.

"He loves his leaf blower."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'New Game'

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'And here's the toolkit.'

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

A spy

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"Something tells me this isn't the 'Good Cop'."

'Hi. Could you send over to my office everything in your display window?'

Swiss Army Stove.

Handy-lion

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"