Tabletop Master Gifts

Royal Flush

"The knights of the round accent table"

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

The Perfect Cannonball

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

Club DJ.

Knights of the Round Whatever

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

Rooster DJ scratches records during party.

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Snooker.

'Will you make the final table?'

'What's up? She been rearranging your shed again?'

I'm so busy at home I need three hands. One for the chips, one for the beer, and one for the remote!

"Go human."

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

'Queen you? There's no queen in checkers, and never has been or will be.'

"You didn't let me win; I let you lose."

"You were right, Ed, I should have stopped when you said to....now I don't have enough money to pay for this drink!"

'Better get used to player rotation!'

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

'Don't be a sissy - It's not that cold!'

"Every appliance, every light, every bit of electronics in the house is controlled by a single remote that I haven't yet been able to find."

"Ken does know that isn't real money, right?"

'No I didn't cast Detect Evil to work it out! Let's just say I aced my Female Intuition roll...'

Four thousand dollars later and there's STILL nothing to watch!

'Good. Now slide the 'O' ring over the hubble's sleeve there in front of you.'