Turntable Master Gifts

Rooster DJ scratches records during party.

Club DJ.

"Thank you for letting me listen to my oldies. Let's start with some Jimi Hendrix."

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

Competitive tic-tac-toe

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'I can not tell a lie concerning the cherry tree: mistakes were made. However, I must consult with my spin doctors before saying more.'

'Well, one of us in wrong.'

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

"Congratulations, dad! You won for 'Most Imaginative Maneuver' on a skateboard!"

One Man and Two Trucks

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

Printing Room

'Good. Now slide the 'O' ring over the hubble's sleeve there in front of you.'

College Football Player Cheat Sheet

Happy Birthday Superstar DJ!

My Dog Scratch

Olde Time Dance Society

"....to be your lawfully wedded spouse, in moving house, in packing and unpacking, again and again?"

Trolley Cage

"I knew you'd come!"

NYPD Siren Training

'I've no time to read books...these are Instruction Manuals for my stuff!'

Large handbook for hand held PCs.

"This is why you read the instructions."

'This manual should help you navigate our site.'

Old fiddles play the sweetest tunes!

"Thanks for helping me to put my costume together. I know we had no idea where to start but we did eventually put ' tu and tu' together."

"If you want feedback from the boss, turn up your volume and stand closer to him."

Start a miracle

'Now that Jim sits in front of a computer all day, he's lost the will to watch TV.'