Tablet Tactician Gifts

'I'm sure these growth hormone tablets used to be bigger.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Building business relations.

Board Game Hunter

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

Human males marking territory.

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

A hand reaches frantically out a trailer bathroom door trying to grab a roll of toilet paper that's rolling away and down the aisle.

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

"Sorry, Man! I had no idea Alexa would be here!"

Snooker.

Remember to always brush your teeth!

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'

Barrister uses legal speak to ask for two sugars in his tea.

Dr. Miller like to show off his ability to remove a full set of braces in one quick, bare-handed, jolt.