Table Decor Aficionado Gifts

'You ate the centerpiece, clodpate.'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Cat statues on entrance gate

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Board Game Hunter

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

An infinity pool table

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Posh Easter Egg

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

King Madras

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

Pea green

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

Doulton Canada Geese

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."