Home Decor Aficionado Gifts

Polishing Boot House with Shoe Polish.

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

"We got a great buy on the apartment, but, unfortunately, it didn't include the mineral rights."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

'I tried to warn you against inflatable furniture.'

'Hey, baby, does this turn you on?'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'I may not know art, but I know what goes over a green sofa.'

"Great place! The lemon wedge is a nice touch."

Decorators at Home

"I love what you've done with this corner of the room!"

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"They are very realistic, you would never guess that they were rubber."

"Him? Oh he's gone out for the night!"

"That tree doesn't belong in this room."

'Walter makes all our furniture himself.'

Throw pillow, through pillow.

'WHOA, don't go in there Donald! THAT'S the living room.'

'Stocks closed higher on the news that Martha Stewart Industries was named to redecorate Saddam's palaces.'

Sneaking out of the house was easy thanks to Eric's custom made wallpaper camo.

Cat Book Ends.

Cat statues on entrance gate

Inflatable desk with a puncture.

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

'Yes, that's Darren - my mobile mechanic!'

'Luxury box.'

Comb Sweet Comb.

Apple white paint results in pictures of apples.

'I'm sorry Gwen, either your house plant goes, or I do!'

Mermaids are sexed up manatees

Kiss My A**/Wipe Your Feet!

"No, we decided the west corner was for political posturing; this is the 'rocking back-and-forth in futility' corner."

A woman carries bedsheets.

"My first Social Security check."