Syntax Whisperer Gifts

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Computer Expert

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Man and Machine snoozing

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Now all we need is a good script."

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"I think we could work very well together."

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

Duplass Brothers

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Where baby grand pianos come from.

Always stick to the script.

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

"What setting do I use for this?"

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

Spyware is easy to see, if you know where to look.

'Good morning, This is receptionist Susan, portal to the boss.'

"How's the computer analysis going?"

'If I need emergency assistance with this program, do I type 911?'

Exit Code

'12:01 A.M., January 1, 2000'