Script Whisperer Gifts

Duplass Brothers

Always stick to the script.

"Now all we need is a good script."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Just be yourself."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Computer Expert

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Man and Machine snoozing

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

Playing dead is easy, but when they ask me to speak, I have to imagine them in their underwear.

At the school of ventriloquism.

Alas, poor Yorick!

"Keep your shirt on. I'll read your book as soon as I'm done reading the monster his book."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

Factory foreman says: 'Sometimes the machines here do try to take over the world. Last week the coffee maker even had a go.'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

"What setting do I use for this?"

'If I need emergency assistance with this program, do I type 911?'