Syntax Seeker Gifts

"Many editors take it improve their colons and semicolons."

"Never mind what your Grandma said, a split infinitive is what I say it is, so into your smoke put pipe oh, sit down, boy!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'They all want to play the star.'

Someone who knows apostrophes

Dialogue

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

Present Tense/Present Simple/Present Progressive/Present Perfect/Present Past.

Classic Emojis for sale.

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"Be or be not. There is no question."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

'Colourful scenes in central London as the annual pedants' pride parade makes it way into Hyde park.'

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

The Adventures of Grammar Man

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

I just spend all day inventing the conjunction! And?

Institute of Solid Geometry/Institute of Plane Geometry.

"And remember–no more subjunctives where the correct mood is indicative."

'And always remember that it is the gritty colon itself, not the half-baked semi-colon, that wields the power to confound even the most erudite minds.'

Not much, just chillin' with my Peeps. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-28).

"She said it's not me; it's my semicolons."

The dog chased the cat. Who can tell me what the subject is? It's grammar, isn't it?!

News. Editor. Like it? It's a new punctuation mark I invented!

Apostrophe, Aopstropher, Apostrothem.