Syntax Strugglers Gifts

''Language' is a great invention, but I keep getting syntax errors.'

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

Lessons in Prehistory.

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

Ironing Punctuation

Present Tense/Present Simple/Present Progressive/Present Perfect/Present Past.

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Do it write the first time.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

The Oxford Comma Coin

"Be or be not. There is no question."

His last words were, "Stop correcting my grammar!" Here Lays Fred P. Smink.

"I was punctuating sentences long before you guys came along!"

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

Oxford Lexicon of Excuses for Bad Grammar and Faulty Spelling.

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

"Ok clss pls trn ur pprs ovr n strt :)"

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

'Colourful scenes in central London as the annual pedants' pride parade makes it way into Hyde park.'

"Will you marry me? I need a lifelong copy editor."

A girl wearing a t-shirt saying ', la'