Syntax Stickler Gifts

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

'For snoring?! Hell, that's nothing'. I once shot a man for ending sentence in a preposition.'

TSA Noah

Present Tense/Present Simple/Present Progressive/Present Perfect/Present Past.

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

The Oxford Comma Coin

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

Department of Education - No smoaking.

Monk painting a spelling mistake.

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"Many editors take it improve their colons and semicolons."

"I don't get it. I'm playing a legendary jazz musician and the director keeps telling me to stick to the script and stop improvising."

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

'It's your S.O.S. note returned with spelling corrections on it.'

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

"She said it's not me; it's my semicolons."

News. Editor. Like it? It's a new punctuation mark I invented!

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

'First of all, your sign is misspelled!'

'I see that you have crossed you t's and opened you e's. That's always a good sign.'

"The Department of Revenue and Tax? No, sorry, never heard of it before. You must have dialed the wrong number. This is the Department of Tax and Revenue."

'My son is away at college majoring in communication. When he sends me an email message, I have to run it through the spell checker before it makes sense to me.'

'No hitting below the belt.'

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

"Don't split your infinitives with me, squire!"

"For goodness sake, I don't need to do a new risk assessment each time I cut a new tree..."

"You're writing in the masculine again."