Spelling Stickler Gifts

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

Monk painting a spelling mistake.

"Business is awful – I just don't get it!"

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"He's a great watchdog, but he can't spell worth a darn."

Department of Education - No smoaking.

'I see that you have crossed you t's and opened you e's. That's always a good sign.'

'It's your S.O.S. note returned with spelling corrections on it.'

'My son is away at college majoring in communication. When he sends me an email message, I have to run it through the spell checker before it makes sense to me.'

'This smart pen cleans up spelling and penmanship, but unfortunately, it still leaks.'

'First of all, your sign is misspelled!'

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"Please help. Out-of-work sign riter."

". . . And, another thing, your spelling is terrible."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

The Oxford Comma Coin

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

Quality Contorl.

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

Maid revealing that the judge uses a dictionary when writing

"Anybody know how to spell anarchy?"

'Are you sure brook is misspelled'

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

Men, there is no I in team! Seriously. I just got a text from your English professor, so go ahead and fix that in the playbook I handed out. (Pulished originally on March 6, 2010.)

"Dude, you wrote bear arms not bare arms!!"

Wordplay: Carelessness.

'You spelt dog wrong.'

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."