Script Stickler Gifts

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'They all want to play the star.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

Hollywood producer.

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

The Oxford Comma Coin

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

Scrip Doctor

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

Department of Education - No smoaking.

Woody Allen

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

Monk painting a spelling mistake.

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

"I don't get it. I'm playing a legendary jazz musician and the director keeps telling me to stick to the script and stop improvising."

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

Writer's Strike