Scripture Stickler Gifts

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

"Meet the scribe"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

TSA Noah

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

The Oxford Comma Coin

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.

I have a new linguistic pet peeve. It's when, instead of just saying something like, "Bob ate a sandwich," people say, "Bob, he ate a sandwich." It drives me absolutely crazy. Speaking as a psychiatrist, that's a short drive, Al.

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"Are you sure you need to make a large print version available?"

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Department of Education - No smoaking.

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

Monk painting a spelling mistake.

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

"I don't get it. I'm playing a legendary jazz musician and the director keeps telling me to stick to the script and stop improvising."

Rare footage of a leopard changing spots.

"Quit worrying about corroborating your sources - it's not as if anyone's going to take all this literally."