Symphony Steward Pillows

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Felix Mendelssohn

"Would you like some wings?"

Orchestra.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Bassoons.

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

Johannes Sebastian Bach

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"I make it myself!"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

Malcolm Sargent

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

Sir Edward Elgar

Golden age of music

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Edward Elgar.

Giuseppe Verdi

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

Maestro

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'