Symphony Steward T-Shirts

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Felix Mendelssohn

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Orchestra.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Would you like some wings?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Bassoons.

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Johannes Sebastian Bach

"I make it myself!"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

Malcolm Sargent

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

Sir Edward Elgar

Golden age of music

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Edward Elgar.

Giuseppe Verdi

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

Maestro

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

Nouveau wine