Arena Steward Pillows

Stadium usher of the month.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Would you like some wings?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Insect extinction

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"I make it myself!"

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'There was a time I thought humans were as smart as we are.'

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

Nouveau wine

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"Oh, put a cork in it...the bottle, you, the wine steward."

'Red for me, please.'

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'