Arena Attendee Pillows

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Mass Travel

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"Your party just totally blew us away."

"I couldn't actually see the band but here's a photo of them on the person in front of me's phone."

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

You think you're good, eh? Okay, you've got the lost and found windo at the Kleptomaniac's Convention.

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

Lost and found at a magician's convention

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

Stadium usher of the month.

Prelude to 1892 Election

"May the good Lord bless this Town Council for the revival of our religious invocations. We thank Thee in the name of Jesus Christ!"

Olympic Catering: 'A small coffee please.'

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

After the brief display of sportsmanship, the gladiators resumed fighting to the death, while Anthony embarked on the long road to rehabilitation from torn knee ligaments.

"Why do you have to come? Because I went to your Super Bowl, that's why."

'There is always the chance that you won't be invited.'