Arena Steward Prints

Stadium usher of the month.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Would you like some wings?"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Insect extinction

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"I make it myself!"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."

'There was a time I thought humans were as smart as we are.'

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

Nouveau wine

'Red for me, please.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

"Harold, please -- the wine steward is entitled to his opinion, too."

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."