Sycophancy Satirist Gifts

'You're stiff from too much grovelling and I'm afraid it doesn't count as an occupational disease.'

Redhead

"This mask is a bit of a passion killer. . . !"

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

'You're right, Mr. Benson, no question about it...I agree...yes! Absolutely! Yes...yes...'

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

'He lost his whistle,'

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

Special Place in Hell...

"It would help if you brown-nosed a little more."

The Cartoonist's armoury

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"Would you like me to get one our experts to tell you what you think of it."

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"Sorry I'm late... I was getting our date approved by my lawyer."

"It's a 'get worse soon card' from your ex wife."

The Post-Modern Bar & Grill.

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

'Even our arguments are losing quality - We used to have lover's tif's - Now we have lover's jpegs!'

'My success? It's difficult to give reasons...I suppose its a combination of grit, energy, the will to succeed...and a few well-placed relations.'

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

Woman uses birds to help her believe she has lost weight.

'Someday, all this will be done with prescription drugs.'

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'

"Lionel will be watching the new Administration very closely."

'Ever considered playing EASY to get?'

Two Men Dining.