Sycophancy Satirist Pillows

'You're stiff from too much grovelling and I'm afraid it doesn't count as an occupational disease.'

Exciting potato bugs.

Redhead

'You're right, Mr. Benson, no question about it...I agree...yes! Absolutely! Yes...yes...'

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

"This mask is a bit of a passion killer. . . !"

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

"You've reached Randy, the dating doctor. What ails you?"

'He lost his whistle,'

'It looks like blood, tastes like Ribena, I just hope it gets me drunk,'

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

"It would help if you brown-nosed a little more."

The Cartoonist's armoury

Special Place in Hell...

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"Would you like me to get one our experts to tell you what you think of it."

"It's a 'get worse soon card' from your ex wife."

"Sorry I'm late... I was getting our date approved by my lawyer."

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

The Post-Modern Bar & Grill.

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

'Even our arguments are losing quality - We used to have lover's tif's - Now we have lover's jpegs!'

'So where's the love?' 'Your love means nothing to me.'

"Lionel will be watching the new Administration very closely."

'Someday, all this will be done with prescription drugs.'

'My success? It's difficult to give reasons...I suppose its a combination of grit, energy, the will to succeed...and a few well-placed relations.'

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

Woman uses birds to help her believe she has lost weight.

Chinese Cuisine. I think that hedge fund manager misplaced his after-meal cookie. That would be the second fortune he lost.

'Ever considered playing EASY to get?'