Sycophantic Humor Fan Pillows

"It would help if you brown-nosed a little more."

Skipping Horse

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Dog in casino.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Winter Weather.

'More government surveillance!'

"Bonk!"

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'