Spicy Satirist Pillows

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

Alabama Traffic Jam

Latest Aye Phone

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

'Secondhand smoke.'

Macho Vegetarian

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

Matador Artificial Insemination.

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

'People soup again?'

Queen's final visit to Australia: 'STrewth! Chack anatha prawn on the barbie Phil..'. Charles 'Apparently, the Aussies insisted on a few conditions..'

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

Max Beerbohm

"It's an epic saga of a tier 1 girl and a tier 3 boy who fall in love without their families' consent."